Does GLEE joke too much about eating disorders?

This Tuesday night I watched a full episode of GLEE for the first time. I enjoyed the episode for the most part. It was funny and clever. I especially loved the singing. But, the casual references to eating disorders bugged me. For those of you who missed the show, these were the references. I want to know your opinion. Do you think they cross the line?

1) The cheerleading coach commented that she hadn't eaten a real meal since the 1980's. She said she drinks a cayenne pepper, lemon, and maple syrup detox drink and makes all the girls on the cheerleading squad do the same. She tells them to add epicac to the drink so they can vomit easily after.

Lovely!

2) The cheerleading coach jokes about the cheerleaders leaving vomit baggies in their parent's closets.

Nice!

Then, at the end of the show, a larger girl on the cheerleading squad decides she won't listen to the coach anymore and that she is beautiful the way she is. A pregnant ex-cheerleader tells her this and says that because she is eating to feed another life, her relationship with food has changed.

The finale song is Christina Aguilera's "I am Beautiful" and the message is taught again to accept yourself the way you are.

Soo....you've got a couple of stupid bulimia jokes and a couple of messages that say you don't need a perfect body. Do the positive messages eliminate the negative ones?

I don't think so. I think it's irresponsible to joke so lightly about bulimia without showing the real consequences. Maybe if the cheerleading coach had been bulimic since the 1980s and she had no teeth because of it...you know what I'm saying? So, what's your opinion?

To find out more about the book Stop Overeating Today! that was featured on the Dr. Laura Show, please visit: http://www.stopovereatingtips.com

Are You Judging Other Women's Bodies? Part 2

I remember one time in high school my psychology teacher asked the question: "Who do you think checks out girls more - guys or other girls?" Everyone responded with, "Guys!" It was a no-brainer. Why would the teacher ask a question with such an obvious answer? An older girl from the middle of the class, who I looked up to for saying what she thought, said, "Girls check out girls more. We need to size up the competition. We want to check each other out and compare ourselves to make sure we add up. We check out her clothes, how she wears them, and how she struts."

Insightful! And she was the only girl with enough courage to tell the truth.

When I was battling with my eating disorder of anorexia, bulimia, and overeating, I was just as judgmental about other girls' bodies as I was about my own. I remember going to the gym during my anorexic phase and checking out the most fit women there. I wanted to compete with them. I wanted to prove that I could be just as tiny and fit as they were.

Jump ahead eleven years. I'm no longer anorexic, bulimic, an overeater, or addicted to receiving approval and envy from other people. I'm not the most tiny and fit person at the gym. I just had a baby last year. I won't look perfect in a bathing suit this summer. But that's okay, because I'm not a perfectionist anymore.

That's not to say I don't take pride in how I look and that I don't take care of myself. I work out and I eat healthy. But there's a big difference between having a self-esteem that comes from how you look in a bikini and having a self-esteem that comes from living a healthy and balanced life, physically and mentally.

Constantly comparing yourself to other women isn't mentally healthy. It's also tough to stop. It becomes a game and your mind gets obsessed. And there will always be someone better looking and thinner, so you can't always win the game. Then you end up picking yourself apart because you aren't the best. It's exhausting judging yourself and others day after day.

Here's the good news. Once you stop judging others, won't be as critical of yourself either. When you start placing value on other attributes besides physical ones, you start loving others and yourself more. Even better, you stop worrying about how others may judge you. When you are judging others, you feel more self-conscious, but when you stop, you feel more confident. Worrying about how others judge you is also not healthy mentally. It comes a paranoia.

How can you start today to stop judging others and to develop a healthier body image? Next time a judgmental thought about another woman's body enters your mind, interject by asking yourself this question: "Is judging this woman going to make me feel better about myself?" If you're shallow you might answer yes. If you're honest with yourself, you'll answer no. Now, without focusing on weight, think of one sincere compliment you could give this woman. Does she have beautiful eyes? Do you like her shoes? Does she walk with confidence? Could she be someone's beloved wife?

The more you start to see people as living breathing humans instead of as objects, the more you will take it easy on yourself and stop expecting perfection. Your body image will improve and you will have more self-confidence, which always translates into beauty.

Get more tips and advice at http://www.stopovereatingtips.com. To save 15% on the book Stop Overeating Today!, use the special code HEALTHY using Google Checkout.

Stop Overeating By Thinking in the Third Person

In the last 10 years, I have done a 360 from being a teenager with an eating disorder (yo yo-ed between anorexia, bulimia, & overeating, ranging from size 0 to size 12) to being author of Stop Overeating Today! & life coach, a healthy & happy size 4. My book has 33 stop overeating strategies that are quick & simple to explain & put into practice. Perhaps the most relevant strategy is how to stop emotional eating. Here it is:

Think in the Third Person: Next time you feel like going for that extra portion of food & you’re already full, try this out-of-body exercise. Say out loud if you can, or in your head if you're in public, what thoughts you are having in the third person, like you're describing what your friend is thinking. For example: "She feels like a bowl of vanilla bean ice cream. She thinks sugar will give her energy to push past being tired, even though it’s late & she needs rest. She wants to reward herself & thinks all that sugar & those calories are the solution, even though it will give her a sugar high & send her crashing." The more you talk about yourself as if you were a friend, the easier it is to see that your thinking is irrational & not going to deliver the results you want. Then it’s easier to break free from the emotion that tells you that you must eat now!

I have more simple & smart strategies to share. I’m a great guest because I have ample public speaking experience & I connect easily with people.

Get more advice - Get the book - www.stopovereatingtips.com

What's Your Responsibility with the Cost of Obesity?

I don’t want to play the blame game, but I do want to point out the fact that if health care is standardized in the US, our tax dollars will be going to pay the high medical cost of obesity: diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, etc. What is your responsibility? What is mine?

We each will have an individual responsibility to get in better shape so we’re not taxing the nation. One person’s weight problem will become everyone’s weight problem, because we all will be footing the bill together with our tax dollars hard at work paying for prescription medications and diabetes machines. That gives a new spin to the phrase “you are what you eat”. We will all be what everyone else eats.

It doesn’t help to point the finger at the fast food industry and say they combine salt, fat, and sugars in a way that hooks our brains and gives us urges we can’t control. Because then we’re still overweight and blaming something outside ourselves that we “can’t control”, so we don’t have to point the finger inward and think about our personal responsibility to ourselves and everyone else.

What’s the solution then? What can we do about the millions of people that are hooked to eating when we need a boost, comfort, or just something to take us away from our troubles or boredom? We all can’t be on the Biggest Loser and besides, we’re not all interested in being publicly showcased and humiliated. Paying for surgery to get a band stapled onto our stomachs is costly and not guaranteed. Thousands of people gain the weight back within three years of having the operation because they were still hooked to food.

I don’t want to come off as a critic, because I’m not. I want to be your biggest supporter if you have an eating and weight problem. But I want to point out the problem first because most people with eating problems keep their eyes closed, eat what they please, and live in denial. Even if taxing others doesn’t worry you, what about your own life? You’ve got yourself to worry about. Eating problems won’t go away on their own and I’m sure you are suffering for it, even if you don’t like thinking about it. Are you happy with how your body looks and feels? Can you get around as easily as you’d like? Does eating leave you feeling energized or stuffed and tired? Do you deal with guilt?

I want to help you because I know what it’s like to have an eating problem. I struggled with overeating and even bulimia, gained 30 pounds, lost self-respect and self-control, and dove into despair. What saved me was learning how to retrain my thinking around food, so urges did not control me anymore. I changed my relationship with food and believe everyone else can do the same. It just takes desire, lots of grit and determination, and a simple tool.

This summer I published a book called Stop Overeating Today! with 33 self-help strategies that teach overeating sufferers how I overcame my eating problem and how they can too. The tips are go-at-your-own-pace and encourage the reader to start slowly so retention is possible. This go-to guide is thorough, covering all aspects of overeating: emotional eating, eating at restaurants, eating at home, food shopping and preparation, eating for comfort, overcoming guilt, and more. It puts power back into your hands so you no longer can say, “I have no control.”

So, you can close your eyes and wish your eating problem and weight problem would disappear, or you can empower yourself with a guilt-free guide and start making small sustainable changes. It’s up to you. If you don’t, it’s up to all of us to foot the bill.

The Secret to Stop Overeating with Self-Psychology

When I was struggling with chronic overeating and bulimia in high school and college, sometimes it felt like I would never be able to stop. I felt like there was a huge weight over me and I couldn’t break free from it. I was embarrassed about my lack of control and worried about how others would perceive me if they knew. If I were to describe how I felt, my story would go something like this: “I have this huge weakness around food and when I’m stressed, anxious, angry, or even excited, I lose control and eat way too much. I’ve tried changing and eating like a normal person, but I keep going back to overeating patterns, no matter what. I’m stuck.”

In my newly released book, Stop Overeating Today!, I discuss the power of self-image and how our thoughts about ourselves determine what kind of role that we play, either limiting or empowering us. Here’s an excerpt:

“Shakespeare said, ‘All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.’ Each moment of each day we can choose which role we will play. Our habits turn us into predictable characters. We expect to act certain ways because that is how we have done things in the past. That is the label we have given ourselves, that is the role we identify with, and that is how we see ourselves. Self-image is very powerful and can lead us to blindly play a role that is not in our best interest...”

Here’s an example of someone playing a role that limits him. After Joe experiences a series of unfortunate events one morning – he stubs his toe getting out of bed, there is a traffic jam on the way to work and he is 45 minutes late, he forgot to put on clean underwear – he thinks to himself, “I am having a really bad day!” He is convinced. Now he’s out to prove it. What role is he playing? The victim of a really bad day. He is out to find more examples to prove his theory that the world is out to get him. He discovers that the hum of the air conditioner is distracting and the guy who works at the cubicle across from him is breathing too loudly. See how he is playing a role, stuck as a character, and only he has the power to change his self-image?

Now, an example that relates to overeating. Shannon has been overeating for the past eight years and is unhappy with how she looks and how she treats her body. She deals with a lot of guilt and thinks, “I am a weak person.” That night at a dinner party, after eating a filling meal, she is offered delicious gooey brownies with a raspberry frosting for dessert. Her eyes pop out of her head and her mouth starts to water. She thinks, “Well, I don’t have the willpower to refuse. Here I go again.”

How can Shannon change her self-image and empower herself? Another excerpt from my book, Stop Overeating Today!, explains: “Choose a role that empowers you…If you find it difficult to start playing a more empowering role, come up with some adjectives to describe the type of role you’d like to play.” Shannon could choose strong, powerful, and healthy as her three adjectives.

Next, she needs to imagine herself as a strong, powerful, and healthy person and think about how such a person would react in front of the tantalizing brownies. She needs to visualize specifically what she will do instead of eating the brownies with crystal clarity, as though it’s already happened. On the other side of the room, Shannon sees three friends in the middle of what seems to be an interesting conversation. She sees herself standing up, leaving the table, and heading in their way to join them. After crafting her crystal clear visualization, she makes it happen, focusing so much on fulfilling her visualization that the brownies are no longer a temptation.

Phew! Now that you have a tactic for avoiding overeating in pressure situations, do you want to take it a step further? Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down the role you have been playing around food that keeps you stuck in a cycle of overeating. Have you been feeling victimized, powerless, or depressed? After you identify your role, take that piece of paper and rip it up and throw it away. Don’t spend any more time dwelling on it.

Next, take out a fresh piece of paper and write down a phrase defining yourself with your new adjectives. For example, Shannon’s would say, “I used to feel weak, guilty, and out of control around food, but now I realize I am strong, powerful, and healthy enough make smart decisions.” Try it. What does your phrase look like? Every time you feel the urge to overeat, pull out that piece of paper and repeat your mantra. The more you practice this, the more natural sounding it will be and the easier it will be to follow. Before you know it, you are not just playing a new role, you have become a new person with healthier habits and a new sense of self-confidence.

(For more information about Stop Overeating Today!, visit www.stopovereatingtips.com)