Are You Judging Other Women's Bodies? Part 2

I remember one time in high school my psychology teacher asked the question: "Who do you think checks out girls more - guys or other girls?" Everyone responded with, "Guys!" It was a no-brainer. Why would the teacher ask a question with such an obvious answer? An older girl from the middle of the class, who I looked up to for saying what she thought, said, "Girls check out girls more. We need to size up the competition. We want to check each other out and compare ourselves to make sure we add up. We check out her clothes, how she wears them, and how she struts."

Insightful! And she was the only girl with enough courage to tell the truth.

When I was battling with my eating disorder of anorexia, bulimia, and overeating, I was just as judgmental about other girls' bodies as I was about my own. I remember going to the gym during my anorexic phase and checking out the most fit women there. I wanted to compete with them. I wanted to prove that I could be just as tiny and fit as they were.

Jump ahead eleven years. I'm no longer anorexic, bulimic, an overeater, or addicted to receiving approval and envy from other people. I'm not the most tiny and fit person at the gym. I just had a baby last year. I won't look perfect in a bathing suit this summer. But that's okay, because I'm not a perfectionist anymore.

That's not to say I don't take pride in how I look and that I don't take care of myself. I work out and I eat healthy. But there's a big difference between having a self-esteem that comes from how you look in a bikini and having a self-esteem that comes from living a healthy and balanced life, physically and mentally.

Constantly comparing yourself to other women isn't mentally healthy. It's also tough to stop. It becomes a game and your mind gets obsessed. And there will always be someone better looking and thinner, so you can't always win the game. Then you end up picking yourself apart because you aren't the best. It's exhausting judging yourself and others day after day.

Here's the good news. Once you stop judging others, won't be as critical of yourself either. When you start placing value on other attributes besides physical ones, you start loving others and yourself more. Even better, you stop worrying about how others may judge you. When you are judging others, you feel more self-conscious, but when you stop, you feel more confident. Worrying about how others judge you is also not healthy mentally. It comes a paranoia.

How can you start today to stop judging others and to develop a healthier body image? Next time a judgmental thought about another woman's body enters your mind, interject by asking yourself this question: "Is judging this woman going to make me feel better about myself?" If you're shallow you might answer yes. If you're honest with yourself, you'll answer no. Now, without focusing on weight, think of one sincere compliment you could give this woman. Does she have beautiful eyes? Do you like her shoes? Does she walk with confidence? Could she be someone's beloved wife?

The more you start to see people as living breathing humans instead of as objects, the more you will take it easy on yourself and stop expecting perfection. Your body image will improve and you will have more self-confidence, which always translates into beauty.

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