When I was struggling with chronic overeating and bulimia in high school and college, sometimes it felt like I would never be able to stop. I felt like there was a huge weight over me and I couldn’t break free from it. I was embarrassed about my lack of control and worried about how others would perceive me if they knew. If I were to describe how I felt, my story would go something like this: “I have this huge weakness around food and when I’m stressed, anxious, angry, or even excited, I lose control and eat way too much. I’ve tried changing and eating like a normal person, but I keep going back to overeating patterns, no matter what. I’m stuck.”
In my newly released book,
Stop Overeating Today!, I discuss the power of self-image and how our thoughts about ourselves determine what kind of role that we play, either limiting or empowering us. Here’s an excerpt:
“Shakespeare said, ‘All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.’ Each moment of each day we can choose which role we will play. Our habits turn us into predictable characters. We expect to act certain ways because that is how we have done things in the past. That is the label we have given ourselves, that is the role we identify with, and that is how we see ourselves. Self-image is very powerful and can lead us to blindly play a role that is not in our best interest...”
Here’s an example of someone playing a role that limits him. After Joe experiences a series of unfortunate events one morning – he stubs his toe getting out of bed, there is a traffic jam on the way to work and he is 45 minutes late, he forgot to put on clean underwear – he thinks to himself, “I am having a really bad day!” He is convinced. Now he’s out to prove it. What role is he playing? The victim of a really bad day. He is out to find more examples to prove his theory that the world is out to get him. He discovers that the hum of the air conditioner is distracting and the guy who works at the cubicle across from him is breathing too loudly. See how he is playing a role, stuck as a character, and only he has the power to change his self-image?
Now, an example that relates to overeating. Shannon has been overeating for the past eight years and is unhappy with how she looks and how she treats her body. She deals with a lot of guilt and thinks, “I am a weak person.” That night at a dinner party, after eating a filling meal, she is offered delicious gooey brownies with a raspberry frosting for dessert. Her eyes pop out of her head and her mouth starts to water. She thinks, “Well, I don’t have the willpower to refuse. Here I go again.”
How can Shannon change her self-image and empower herself? Another excerpt from my book,
Stop Overeating Today!, explains: “Choose a role that empowers you…If you find it difficult to start playing a more empowering role, come up with some adjectives to describe the type of role you’d like to play.” Shannon could choose strong, powerful, and healthy as her three adjectives.
Next, she needs to imagine herself as a strong, powerful, and healthy person and think about how such a person would react in front of the tantalizing brownies. She needs to visualize specifically what she will do instead of eating the brownies with crystal clarity, as though it’s already happened. On the other side of the room, Shannon sees three friends in the middle of what seems to be an interesting conversation. She sees herself standing up, leaving the table, and heading in their way to join them. After crafting her crystal clear visualization, she makes it happen, focusing so much on fulfilling her visualization that the brownies are no longer a temptation.
Phew! Now that you have a tactic for avoiding overeating in pressure situations, do you want to take it a step further? Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down the role you have been playing around food that keeps you stuck in a cycle of overeating. Have you been feeling victimized, powerless, or depressed? After you identify your role, take that piece of paper and rip it up and throw it away. Don’t spend any more time dwelling on it.
Next, take out a fresh piece of paper and write down a phrase defining yourself with your new adjectives. For example, Shannon’s would say, “I used to feel weak, guilty, and out of control around food, but now I realize I am strong, powerful, and healthy enough make smart decisions.” Try it. What does your phrase look like? Every time you feel the urge to overeat, pull out that piece of paper and repeat your mantra. The more you practice this, the more natural sounding it will be and the easier it will be to follow. Before you know it, you are not just playing a new role, you have become a new person with healthier habits and a new sense of self-confidence.
(For more information about
Stop Overeating Today!, visit www.stopovereatingtips.com)
